Attack of the Fiance
by phantom and potter Obsession
Summary: Yuebin is back, he's determined that he will marry Pudding, and a pair of eleven year olds in love won't dissuade him! When push comes to shove, will Pudding and Tart be able to prove that true love is lasting, or will they be separated forever? HIATUS!
1. He's BACK

Disclaimer: TMM belongs to Mia Ikumi. I'm not her.

It had been a long day at Café Mew Mew. Pudding was grateful to throw her dish-wiping rag into the laundry pile before she returned home. "Home for the long grind… but Tartar will be there!" she reminded herself cheerfully.

Pudding skipped up the doorstep, slid the key into the lock, and twisted the key to open the door. "Heicha, Honcha, Hanacha, Ruucha, Chincha, Tart, I'm—"

The words flew out of her mouth, then she realized that the kids were quiet and still, and Tart was no where to be seen. On top of all of that, Ron Yuebin was sitting on her couch, with the air of having been waiting for her.

"Hello, Miss Pudding."

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A/N-short chappie, a bit of a prologue. Like it or no so far?


	2. Ehm

Disclaimer: I own TMM about as much as I own the moon. Is that even possible, I wonder? –goes off in odd daydreams with nada to do with fic.-

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"Hello Miss Pudding."

Pudding stared at the man incredulously. "What are you doing here?" she blurted out. The girl glanced at her silent siblings. "Hey, why are you so quiet? Also, where's Tartar?" She glanced at Yuebin. "Have _you _seen Tart?" she asked.

"If you're speaking of the little cretin who was lurking around the house that kidnapped you that time—"

"That's Tartar. And he's _not _a cretin!" she protested. "He's my boyfriend."

Yuebin stood up. "_**WHAT?**_" he roared. "Have you forgotten that we are engaged, Miss Pudding?"

"Oh yeah!" Pudding remembered. "I remember, I never _could _convince you that I'm not agreeing to an arranged marriage. Well, I'm not. Tartar and I are deeply in love, and you're at _least _twice my age!"

"That doesn't matter," Yuebin argued. "Your father—"

"I know, my father decreed that if I lost that fight to you we'd have to get married. Well welcome to the twenty-first century! I don't want to marry some guy in his twenties when I'm barely eleven! I don't want to leave my boyfriend for a—a creepy old pedophile!"

"Pudding oneechan, now that you're here can I let Tart-kun out?" Heicha asked her older sister.

"Yes," Pudding told her sister, softening her voice, before turning back to Yuebin. "Where is Tartar anyway na no da?"

"Why do you even care?" Yuebin asked, genuinely curious. "Surely you can't truly care about the one who nearly killed you?"

Pudding shrugged. "That was over a year ago," she said. "It's in the past. Tart's a really nice person, and we are in love. You're nice too, but in a bodyguard sort of way, not a partner sort of way. So can you get out of my house, please?"

"I cannot leave until I can rest assured that you are safe from that—_thing,_" Yuebin informed Pudding. "I also must make certain that you don't make any plans to abandon our engagement. I am your fiancé Pudding. It's about time you accepted that."

"Never!" cried Pudding, running after Heicha, who was opening the door to the laundry room. Tart stepped out, looking incredibly pissed off.

"May I go kill him?" the alien asked, brushing himself off indignantly.

"No Tartar, murder isn't accepted in human society na no da!" exclaimed Pudding. "We'll just have to scare him off," she assured her love, taking his hand.

"Okay," Tart agreed. "So we'll have to be creative."

"And inventive."

"And imaginative."

"And brilliant."

"And genius."

"And evil."

"Evil? All right!" cheered Tart. "Evil fits it perfectly."

"And now…" Pudding said, "…To plot revenge!"


	3. Karaoke and Fleas and Hit Men oh my!

Disclaimer: I would never, NEVER force a 10 year old into an engagement with a 30 year old. That is what this fic protests. PuddingTart forever, but I still don't own TMM.

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Karaoke. The perfect revenge for a young couple that absolutely CANNOT sing. "I might crumble I might take a fall again!" bellowed Tart.

"I might crumble I might take a fall again!" Pudding screamed back.

"I might crumble I might take a fall again, but you're my—"

"EVERLASTING FRIEND!!!!!!!!" they both yelled, not even trying to sing on key. They had sent Pudding's siblings out to the yard so that the young ears wouldn't have to suffer the singing. Yet somehow, the off-keyness didn't seem to bother Yuebin.

"It's not working," whined Pudding sadly. "And now I have to cook dinner and it's still not working na no da!"

"It's because this isn't evil enough," grumbled Tart. His eyes lit up with sudden anticipation. "Why don't you poison his food?" the child asked with obvious delight.

"No, we all eat the same food," Pudding reminded him. "we could put chili powder in his pajamas!"

"Yeah, we could," Tart said thoughtfully. "Got any fleas?"

"No. Hm… let's see if Mint's dog has any! You go while I make dinner Tartar!"

Five minutes later Tart was cowering under Mint's seemingly fatal glare. "You came over here, _all the way over here, _to ask if _my purebred, well taken care of precious little Mikki has __**fleas?!**_"

"I know it sounds bad Mint, but please, just hear me out!" begged Tart. He felt really stupid begging. What he _wanted _to do was beat some manners into the annoying girl, but he didn't think that would be wise. "It's urgent!"

"Well, what's the matter?" Mint asked grouchily.

"It's that Yuebin dude," Tart told her glumly. "He's back, and he wants me to stay away from Pudding."

"Well you know, I've never approved of your relationship with Pudding-san…"

_"MINT!!! This is SERIOUS!!!"_ Tart yelled.

"Okay, okay! Chill out! What do flea—oh! Ok, you're trying to scare him off, I get it!" Mint bit her lip, thinking. Some people thought of the girl as a soft, rich brat, but Tart knew she was actually very intelligent and devious. Why if she hadn't been human, she'd have been a great asset to their side back when they were fighting the mews. But they weren't fighting them anymore, so there was no problem—right?

"I don't think fleas will scare him off," Mint decided slowly. "They'll annoy him to death for certain, but as for permanent plans?"

"We don't want to _kill _him Mint," Tart informed the girl hastily, seeing the glint in her eye. 'The glint' never meant anything good. "Just scare him off so he leaves Pudding alone."

"Oh I know," Mint agreed. "Still, he's a martial arts master. He can take care of himself." She continued thinking. "Well, I could hire a hit man—"

"I just said that we don't want to _kill _him, just _scare _him!"

"Oh come off it, he's a big boy, I'm sure he can best any hit man, and if he can't too bad so sad. If he can then he'll still be freaked out. He'll realize you're serious, and all you'll have to do is hope he doesn't press charges!"

"What the—Mint! What if he _does _press charges?" Tart inquired angrily.

"Oh come on, like any judge would convict you and Pudding!" Mint exclaimed. "You'd bambi-eye the jury out of it and they'd entirely take your side."

"Well…" Tart was sorely tempted. After all, hadn't the plan been to be creative and inventive and imaginative and brilliant and genius and most importantly _evil? _Hiring a hit man was certainly evil. The question was, would Pudding approve?"

"What would Pudding think about this?" Tart asked Mint.

"Oh psht! She won't care!" Mint grinned evilly. "Wanna know why?" Before Tart had answered that no, he did _not _think he wanted to know why, Mint was explaining her reasons. "Because it won't be a real hit man. It will be Shirogane in a ski mask."

Tart blinked. And blinked again. "Shirogane… in a ski mask?" he asked. "Okay. Fine then, just make certain it gets done!" He teleported to Pudding's house before he could change his mind.

"Hey Pudding!" he called, hugging her as she turned around.

"Tarutaru-san!" she cried, hugging him back.

"Hey, Tartar's fine but I draw the line at Tarutaru!" he reminded his girlfriend.

"Okay silly," Pudding giggled. "so did you get the fleas?"

"No, but—"

"Fleas?" a deep voice interrupted. "M'lady, what on earth do you want fleas for?"

Pudding and Tart turned around to see the object of their wrath leaning carelessly in the doorway. "Go away baka-kun," Pudding taunted, sticking her tongue out at the man. "Tartar and I are having a serious conversation and we don't need you butting in!" She made a face for emphasis, secretly hoping that her childishness would make him leave.

It didn't. "I will not allow you and this creature to meet unsupervised," Yuebin snapped. "Lord knows what he intends—"

"I am eleven years old!" Tart exclaimed furiously. "Why, did you go lose _yours _at eleven?"

"No one likes a controlling person," Pudding told Yuebin coldly, making another face at him. "and I don't like you, period." She put her arm around Tart's shoulders, and he put his around hers. Somehow the two small children, children who's ages combined didn't equal Ron Yuebin's, seemed to make a confident and secure picture. They were deeply in love, for all their youth. Who was this interloper to come ruin it?

The effect was ruined when Hanacha raced into the kitchen. "Oneechan, we're coming back in now! You're done singing, right?"

Pudding sighed. "Yes Hanacha, you can come inside now, we're done singing." She squeezed Tart's shoulders and slipped away. "Tome for dinner, everyone go sit down!" she called. Hm, a meal with Yuebin and Tart at odds. Well, if nothing else it would be interesting.

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Dinner with Yuebin, coming soon! Sorry, I've been busy what with moving and all, and I haven't had so much time to write. I'll do better, I swear, chappie 4 coming soon!


	4. Chinese food, Salad, and Walks

Disclaimer: I would never, NEVER force a 10 year old into an engagement with a 30 year old. That is what this fic protests. PuddingTart forever, but I still don't own TMM. Yes this is the same disclaimer as last chapter, well shoot me for laziness! (Is shot for laziness)

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"Time for dinner, everyone go sit down!" Pudding called.

As the quadruplets and Heicha scrambled for their normal seats, Tart and Yuebin dashed for the seat next to Pudding. Tart won due to his ability to teleport, leaving Yuebin at the un-matching chair next to Chincha and Ruucha.

Pudding entered the room with a dish of sweet and sour pork (which she had ordered, she didn't know how to make it yet), ramen, and a Caesar salad. They had decided not to eat _all _Chinese at every meal, mostly because Tart wasn't a Chinese food fan. He suffered through it though, and always saved his salad for last to wash out the taste.

Tonight though, there was no relaxed complaining about how Chinese food sucked, nor was any ramen hurled through the air. The atmosphere of the room was tense and strange, with Tart and Yuebin only looking up occasionally to glare at each other. The five youngest children chattered on at first, attempting to seem normal. After all, Yuebin-san had stayed there before, and he had rocked! He was a really awesome person!

But if onee-san wasn't happy when he was here… "onee-san, why aren't you talking to Yuebin-san or Taru-chan?" Honcha asked his older sister.

"And Tart-chan, why aren't _you _talking to onee-san?" Hanacha asked, confused. None of the younger children had any idea why the Fong household had suddenly become quiet and hostile.

"Oh—I'm just thinking," Tart and Pudding answered in unison. They both glared at Yuebin then went back to eating their food. Ew, Chinese food. Yummy, Chinese food.

"Hmph," Yuebin muttered, clearing off the table.

"I wasn't done yet!" snapped Tart, grabbing his full salad plate from the martial arts master.

"It's rude to grab," Yuebin commented.

"It's rude to steal," Tart shot back, taking an oversized bite of salad. "Bleh!" he added, sticking his tongue out while he chewed.

Yuebin just looked disgusted. "Revolting child," he muttered, turning away.

"You deserved it," Tart replied. He wolfed down the salad then brought his plate into the kitchen. "So now what do you wanna do Pudding?" he asked, sounding remarkably cheerful. "Wanna go for a walk?"

"Sure," Pudding answered. "as long as Mr. Baka-san doesn't follow us," she added loudly.

The two of them walked outside, checking to make sure they'd lost Yuebin. As a precaution, Tart teleported them twenty feet away. In the dark Yuebin wouldn't be able to see where they had gone. "So what's this about?" Pudding asked Tart.

"Well I couldn't get the fleas from Mint," Tart informed her softly. "But she said—she said—" It was too funny to say with a straight face. "She said she's going to get Shirogane-san to dress up as a hit man in a ski mask and that he's going to pretend to try and kill Yuebin." Tart nearly fell over laughing as he choked the sentence out.

"Pretend to—be a hit man!" Pudding actually _did _fall over laughing. "That's brilliant na no da! Ha HA!" Brilliant. Revenge was underway!


	5. Skipping school for karaoke

Disclaimer: Um, I own the fic. If you think I'm even Japanese, much less Mia Ikumi, I suggest glasses or contacts. If you have them, you need a stronger prescription.

By the way, if you read any of my upcoming fanfictions that haven't been posted yet, you will see more Pudding and Tart karaoke, quite ofter for revenge. You may also see the return of some of the songs I use in this. This chapter isn't the greatest because a lot of it's singing and people's reactions to it, but… well… My sister's ipod Masha is a great inspiration! (I'm the one who named the ipod by the way. GO MASHA!) If you don't read the lyrics to the songs that's fine, I think you'll get the point anyway.

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Revenge was sweet, but annoying was sweet too. And so the next day Pudding took off work, skipped school, and sent the kids off to school. Pudding and Tart set up the karaoke machine, but this time for more drastic measures.

"Everlasting friend is a song about friendship. Plus it's Blue October. _Everyone _likes Blue October!" exclaimed Tart. "Even when it's us singing it."

"Well Ichigo hates it—"

"Whatever, she doesn't count," Tar said flippantly. He tolerated Ichigo because she was Pudding's friend, but honestly it seemed all the girl did was create love squares and spazz out. "If we sing a song with more _content_, it won't scare him off, but it'll annoy him to death!"

"Song with more content…" Pudding frowned, thinking. "Okay, but none of that emo stuff you listen to will work. We have to sing some more popular, dance type music."

"You can dance to Blue October!" Tart cried, slightly wounded.

"I've seen you dance to that stuff Tartar. Let's just say you're not musically inclined. But neither am I!" Pudding added cheerfully. "That's the point. Lemme see… Oh, I know! Let's sing 'Promiscuous!' He'll probably come running!"

"Oh God," groaned Tart. "I _hate _that song! You know I hate that type of music!"

"I know, but it's perfect. We'll belt it out, he'll come running in to make sure nothing's going on, and it'll just be us doing karaoke! He'll be so annoyed! And if that song doesn't work then I have a few more we can sing!"

"Okay," agreed Tart. "What if karaoke doesn't work, period?"

Pudding shrugged. "Then we'll take more drastic measures! Like chili powder in his pajamas," she decided.

"What if singing songs like this has the opposite effect?" Tart suddenly wondered. Songs like 'Promiscuous' had certain meanings to them… just listen to the lyrics people! What if Yuebin didn't know the song and thought they were being serious?

Ah psht, who cared what he thought? "Never mind," Tart decided, setting up the karaoke machine in the living room, right next to Yuebin's room. It wasn't lost on Tart that Yuebin had chosen the room where he could get the most 'quiet self time for training and rejuvenation of the spirit' or however the heck he'd put it. Well that was a good idea, and would have worked if not for the karaoke machine. "Got the CD?" Tart asked Pudding quietly.

"Yup!" Pudding answered cheerfully. She put it in and the music began to play.

Tart giggled silently as the music came on. "_How you doin' young lady_  
_That feelin' that you givin' really drives me crazy You don't haveta play about the joke I was at a loss of words first time that we spoke_" he sang, then handed the microphone to Pudding, snickering. To think he hated this song!

Pudding, being Pudding, decided to ham it up and actually _try _to sing on key. She failed miserably. "_Looking for a girl that'll treat you right You lookin' for her in the day time with the light_" she belted out loudly, not laughing at all although she wanted to.

"_You might be the type if I play my cards right I'll find out by the end of the night_"

"_You expect me to just let you hit it But will you still respect me if you get it_"

"_All I can do is try, gimme one chance What's the problem I don't see no ring on your hand_," and that was the truth too! Pudding may have been forced into this engagement, but there was no ring, so… hm. He wondered if there was a way to use that to make Yuebin back off? "_I be the first to admit it, I'm curious about you, you seem so innocent_"

"_You wanna get in my world, get lost in it Boy I'm tired of running, lets walk for a minute_."

The chorus was coming up. The refrain and Yuebin still hadn't come out. Maybe this song wasn't bad enough to make him come out. "_Promiscuous girl Wherever you are I'm all alone And it's you that I want_" sang Tart loudly. He was pretty sure he heard someone muttering in the room by the karaoke machine, but he wasn't quite sure. Well Yuebin hadn't come out to yell at them yet… Keep singing!

"_Promiscuous boy You already know That I'm all yours What you waiting for?_"

"_Promiscuous girl You're teasing me You know what I want And I got what you need_"

"_Promiscuous boy Let's get to the point Cause w_—"

Yuebin slammed the door open, but his voice was calm when he spoke. "Please quit singing that obscene song," he said quietly.

"It's _my _house," countered Pudding. "I can throw you out if I want!"

"Actually, this is your father's house," Yuebin reminded her. "I'm here under his orders, to keep you from forgetting our engagement. I have been told by your father to act as the man of the house while I am here, for we shall be married soon enough, and then I _will _be the man of the house. Now enough of that song."

Pudding and Tart stuck their tongues out in unison at him. They were both aware that eleven was far too old for such childish behavior, but to be honest neither of them cared. "Fine," grumbled Pudding. As he left, her eyes lit up. "I'm going to go get some stuff from Zakuro's house to accessorize the next song in our repertoire," she told Tart.

"Which song is it?" Tart asked.

"Buttons!" Pudding squealed.

"Oh. My. God. You. Actually. Want. To. Sing. That. Obscene. Song," Tart said in disbelief. "PLEASE an we use some of my music?"

"Like what?" Pudding asked, thinking. "You music is crazily emo!"

"It is not!"

"Tart I must wonder about the state of mind of anyone who's favorite song is called 'Drilled a Wire Through My Cheek,'" Pudding told her boyfriend. "I'm going to go get the stuff from Zakuro's house, I'll be back."

Twenty minutes later Pudding arrived with a pimp hat, a leopard print jacket from god-knows-where, a low-cut top, a skirt that was undoubtedly short on Zakuro yet fell to Pudding's knees, and a pair of heels four sizes too big. "Here you go," she said, handing Tart the pimp hat and jacket. "Can you believe this was her smallest pair of shoes?" she complained.

"Yeah, you're feet are too small for just about EVERYONE'S shoes," Tart reminded her.

Pudding made a face. "I'm still taller than you."

"Only because of the shoes!" Tart cried, wounded. "I'm taller than you now and you know it!"

"Whatever, just play the song already," Pudding giggled. To think she'd be in Japanese class right now if she weren't here!

"Fine," muttered Tart. "How come all the songs start off with the guy's part?"

"I dunno, just hit the play button!" Pudding whispered.

"Okay, okay!

"_What it do babyboo Yeah, little mama you lookin' good I see you wanna play with a player from the hood Come holla at me, you got it like that Me, Snoop Dogg, with the lead Pussycat I show you how it go down, yeah, I wanna go down Me and you, one on one, treat you like a shortay You look at me and I look at you I'm reachin' for your shirt what you want me to do_" Tart began the opening lines, bellowing at the top of his lungs, all the while thinking that this was a stupid, yet amusing plan.

"_I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons baby But you keep frontin' Saying what you gon' do to me But I ain't seen nothing I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons baby But you keep frontin' Saying what you gon' do to me_," Tart and Pudding exchanged glances as the door opened _much _earlier than it had last time.

"Please no—Miss Pudding, what on _earth _are you wearing?" Yuebin asked, shocked. He glared at Tart as though it had been the alien's idea. "And what did you do, little freako, to get her to dress like that?"

"I have a name, baka-san," Tart snapped. "You may call me Taruto. And this was her idea. It's quite fun, karaoke is!" He was aware of how stupid he looked in the jacket and hat, and how, um, non-Pudding-like Pudding looked in Zakuro's clothes.

"Well please, I don't care how fun it is, those types of songs are not age-appropriate, and not what an engaged girl should be singing with an untrustworthy young man."

"Untrustworthy?! You're the one who's trying to marry me when I'm twenty years younger than you, you stupid pedophile! I oughta shoot you in the head! HARASSMENT OF A MINOR!!!! HELP, HELP!" Pudding bellowed.

"You know what?" Tart asked when Yuebin threw up his hands and left in disgust. "He won't let us sing. You know what he hasn't told us not to do?"

"What?" queried Pudding.

"Dance to those songs."

"Oh my… sweet!" Pudding grinned evilly. "This'll be even better!" 


	6. Dancing and Hit Men and Age debates

Disclaimer: Um, I own the fic. If you think I'm even Japanese, much less Mia Ikumi, I suggest glasses or contacts. If you have them, you need a stronger prescription.

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"You want me to _WHAT?" _Ryou yelped as Mint came to him with her request. "Pretend to be a hit man? Why? What have I done wrong?"

"Well it's just that they need help!" cried Mint. "They are deeply in love! Imagine if—if—if some random guy came to split up you and Lettuce?"

"What are—how do you—" Ryou spluttered.

"Lucky guess," Mint answered cheerfully. "So will you do it?"

Ryou glared at her. "Yeah, fine. It's your job to lure him out tonight though. I'm not doing this all by myself."

"Awesome!" Mint dumped an all-black suit, a black ski mask, a loaded gun, a knife, a chain set, a chainsaw, an ordinary saw, a noose, and a sword on his lap. "There you go! You'll look like a professional hit man now!"

"I'll look like a professional idiot," Ryou muttered.

"What's with all the weapons?" Keiichiro asked, coming over to investigate. "Ryou, are you planning to kill someone?"

"No, I'm pretending to be a hit man—quit laughing, I'm being serious!"

"A hit man?" Ichigo asked, wandering over. "Why?"

"Shut up! It's for the sake of Pudding and Tart's love!" proclaimed Mint dramatically.

"Is that why Pudding came over to my house to borrow clothes?" Zakuro wondered. "She said she needed to scare someone…"

"Yeah. Yuebin's back, and he's trying to destroy her relationship with Tart!" Mint exclaimed. "We can't let a stupid thirty-year-old man win!"

"Oh no!" Ichigo cried in horror. She tried to imagine what it would be like if some old man came to break up her and Masaya. She just couldn't imagine it. "We have to save Pudding-san's love life!"

"Well, if the hit man idea doesn't work then we'll think of something for you to do," promised Ryou. "And I doubt it will work. I mean, he's a martial arts master! I'm… not," he finished lamely. "Nevertheless, I shall do my best!" he added cheerfully. "You all just have to get him out here so that I can pretend to attempt to kill him."

"I'm looking forward to this," Mint grinned. "Can we watch this? Can I videotape it and put it on youtube?"

"Sure, whatever," agreed Ryou. "Go ahead."

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"Dancing, dancing, this'll be fun!" cried Pudding. "And you look so funny Tartar!" she added. She had insisted that Tart dress in baggy pants, a baggy shirt, and marti gras necklaces.

"Kudasai! Let's get this over with so that he can yell at us and go outside and maybe Ryou will _really _kill him," muttered Tart. He was at the point where he no longer cared if the man died, he just wanted Yuebin gone so that he and Pudding could be left alone.

"Oh don't worry Tartar," Pudding said. "I'm sure he'll be so scared of Shirogane-san that he'll leave right away! In the meantime, this is funny!"

"Right," muttered Tart and Pudding began to blast a loud, obscene song. "Come on Tart, let's dance!"

"Ookay," groaned Tart, wishing desperately for some Good Charlotte. Singing this stuff was all very amusing, but _dancing _to it?

"Miss Pudding! What on earth are you doing?!"

Pudding looked up. "Dancing with my boyfriend! Don't worry, it all stays PG-13!"

"But you're eleven, not thirteen," growled Yuebin, shutting off the CD-player.

"Exactly! I'm eleven! So I should stay with my age group, okay? Now go away ugly-face!"

"Miss Pudding, I'm just about ready to kick your creepy little 'boyfriend' out of the house and lock you in your room!" Yuebin roared, truly losing his cool for the first time that any of them had seen.

There was a shocked silence as Pudding and Tart stared at the man. Suddenly it was more urgent than ever that they drive the man insane and away. "I hope some hit man comes after you," growled Tart, a warning to him. "And that you learn how to leave us alone! Go back to China and find some lady your own age!"

"You—" Yuebin knew he couldn't afford to lose his cool again. He slammed the door behind him and strode out into the twilight time that came as the sun set. It was nearly six o'clock. Somehow that seemed impossible, but he ignored it and walked on. He had more important things to worry about. Such as how to make his wife-to-be understand that age and love didn't matter in an arranged marriage…

And the most important worry of the black-gloved hand that had seized his arm, and its twin, which was suddenly holding a knife to his throat.

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A/N- Well I hope this rapid spree of updates makes up for the lack of them! Yes I think I'll leave it here for today… heheheh! Ok, this is a rare fic that I haven't pre-written so I want to know: Should Yuebin cream Ryou or be scared by him? He's not going to be scared all the way off yet, but should this put him on his guard? I'd like to know before I update again.


	7. You can't best the martial arts masters

**Disclaimer: If I owned Tokyo Mew Mew I would have vetoed Yuebin's existence, and this fic wouldn't exist.**

Ha! I bet you all thought I'd forgotten this! Actually, you probably didn't. Darn it, I lost the bet! Ah well. Sorry it took so long! Blame band camp and moving please! And now, without further ado… I give you the fate of EVERYONE!!!

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And the most important worry of the black-gloved hand that had seized his arm, and its twin, which was suddenly holding a knife to his throat.

Yuebin stood still, waiting for his assailant to speak. Most assailants did. The red-haired man waited a few seconds, the grabbed his attacker's arm and forced it up over the man's head. He twisted the limb, and heard a scream of pain. The martial arts master forced the hit man to the ground and tore the ski mask off.

"I know you!" Yuebin yelped with surprise. "You run that café where Miss Pudding works!"

"I know what I do, thanks," the blonde growled, not very pleased at being defeated this easily. He heard a giggle from the bushes. _'Mint,' _he realized. _'I should have known better than to tell her she could film this and put it on youtube.'_

Yuebin sighed and searched the young man. "So tell me sir, what were you doing out here?" the master inquired calmly, knowing that with a single twitch of Ryou's arm he could have him screaming and begging for mercy. "It's a long walk carrying all these for someone who's obviously no athlete."

Ryou was indignant at that statement. Just because he wasn't a martial arts beast didn't mean he wasn't fit! "I resent that," he snapped at the man. Okay, if he'd ever had any doubts about driving Yuebin away, he'd shed them now!

"Please answer my question sir," Yuebin replied, pressing Ryou's arm a little harder. The boy whimpered in pain at the pressure.

"Fine. Leave Pudding alone. Can't you see she's happy with Tart for some weird reason?"

Yuebin sighed. "The world these days seems to think people are entitled to 'true love.' True love is a myth, my friend. Arranged marriages served the world quite well for thousands of years. Why, all of a sudden, does the world think the child knows and not the parents? This Tart has kidnapped and harmed Pudding before, but she is too young and blinded to see him for the despicable creature he is. I have been told by my master, her father, to marry her. This is what I intend to do."

"Sick pedophile!" Yuebin looked around, but Ryou didn't dare. He didn't want to risk moving his arm when he already recognized Ichigo's voice.

"How can you want to destroy Pudding's happiness? My love for Aoyama-kun and his love for me saved the world! Tart wouldn't have helped up without being in love with Pudding, and, and—" Ichigo might have had something deep and insightful to say, but… there was a string. A _string! _Just _dangling _from a tree in the neighbor's yard! The part-cat girl bounded gleefully after the string, and began to bat it around.

Yuebin rolled his eyes in disgust and went back into the house, where Pudding and Tart were cooking dinner/having a food-fight. "Miss Pudding, why was your boss outside pretending to be a hit man?" the older person asked coolly.

Pudding's crouton reversed direction in mid-flight so that it hit Yuebin in the face. "Maybe because he hates you and wants you to go away," she suggested.

"Noodles are done!" Tart yelled triumphantly. "And they're only a _little _burnt today!"

"Good job Taru-taru!"

"What did I say about that nickname?"

"But your face is so cute when I call you that!"

"Kudasai!"

"Taru-taru, Taru-taru, Taru-taru—"

"I'm not speaking to you."

"What if I give you a kiss?"

"Okay!"

Pudding leaned over and kissed Tart, forgetting Yuebin's presence in the room. It was a quick kiss, then Pudding giggled and heaved a blob of ranch dressing onto her love. "Gotcha!" she cried.

"Hey! That was mean!" Tart yelled, casually grabbing the chili powder and hiding it in his pocket. "I'll be right back!" he promised, running off. The hit-man idea hadn't worked, so it looked like they were back to square one of a long term plan.

But there was always chili powder in his pajamas. ALWAYS.


	8. Kicked out

Disclaimer: I don't know anyone associated with the ownership and making of Tokyo Mew Mew. I can barely write their names in Japanese!

Well folks, Ron Yuebin comes across as quite the dignified, perfect man, doesn't he? Humph. Not for long!

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Ron Yuebin stormed into his room, burned noodles and salad dressing dripping from his hair. What a day! He needed an excuse to throw that little twerp onto the streets or something!

Yuebin sighed as he quickly washed his hair, erasing all traces of food from his body. The dinner had been a catastrophe. The smallest children had started a food-fight, and Pudding had joined in with her little creepy boyfriend. When Yuebin had tried to step in and stop the madness, he had received a plateful of salad in his hair, followed by a serving of incredibly charred noodles from the little girl—which apparently had been a great cuisine compared to the elf-boy's usual cooking attempts. If Pudding stayed with that cretin, she'd be staying with someone who couldn't do anything for her, even cook or clean the house!

Yuebin wasn't very happy, to say the least. He removed his blue, comfortable Snoopy pajamas and yellow duck slippers from his dresser, dressed, and brushed his teeth. It was around that time that his skin started to itch, then burn.

The man frowned and smelled his underarm, where the itching was the worst. "Chili powder!" he gasped. It was a little known fact, but Ron was allergic to chili powder. "ARGH!" he roared, shedding the clothes as fast as he could—but already the red, painful bumps had begun to sprout on his skin. "I'm going to kill that little twerp!" he seethed, checking his Big Bird pajamas—these ones on a magenta background—for the spice. Thankfully there was none, so he pulled the wool over his head, wincing where it touched his inflamed skin.

The man stormed over to Pudding and Tart's room. It had been much to his fury to find out that they shared a room, despite their different beds. The two had informed him that he was over-sensitive, and had ignored his orders that Tart sleep on the couch. He opened the door and barged into the orange room.

It appeared Pudding and Tart were having some sort of argument. "I AM NOT EMO!!!!!!!" Tart roared, his eyes screwed up, fists, balled in frustration.

"Can you prove that Tar-tar? Look at the music you listen to!" Pudding yelled back.

"I tell you, if I were emo, you'd know! I'd be doing weird stuff like straightening my hair and cutting my wrists and wearing eye liner!"

"Well for all I know, you could be straightening your hair and cutting your wrists! I must see your arms Tar-tar!" Pudding yelled, jumping up and down. She wasn't so oblivious that she didn't see Yuebin enter the room, and she knew if Tart saw him, he'd find a way to annoy the older man by this.

Pudding's trust in Tart wasn't to go unrewarded. Tart looked up, saw Yuebin, and pretended not to. "Well, only for you," he sighed, dimming the lights and climbing onto an end table. "Untz untz untz untz," he smirked, slowly unwrapping his arms to the beat.

"Oh, oh Tart, that's just how I like it!" squealed Pudding, seeing Yuebin's face go red with rage at the words.

Tart grinned and, to annoy Yuebin more, slowly started to lift his shirt, then dropped it and collapsed into laughter. "Oh man," he choked out. "This is just too funny!"

"Tar-tar's a stripper! Tar-tar's a stripper!" giggled Pudding.

"If I'm a stripper then I'm not emo, right?" Tart inquired.

"Hm… Fine, until the next time you wake me up by blasting 'What if We Could' by my ear!"

"Done!" Tart agreed.

"Haha!" Pudding yelled, opening a window and sticking her head out. "Tar-tar's a stripper! Tar-tar's a stripper!"

"Kudasai!" Tart shouted, though his laughter took away the effect. "Just shut up, will you?"

"Nope!" cried Pudding, leaping on Tart and proceeding to tickle him.

"Ahem." Neither child looked up, so Yuebin sighed, walked over to the two, and pulled Pudding off the flailing Tart. "Listen carefully, you two—"

"Make us," Tart taunted.

"What he said!" Pudding added angrily. "Tar-tar and I want to have fun! Quit spoiling us!"

But Ron Yuebin had had enough. "You," he snapped, pointing at Tart. "I've had enough of you! I have been more than tolerant, but directly undermining my authority is inexcusable! I have been made head of this house now! And I am ordering you to get out! And at the risk of sounding cliché, get out and never come back, or I swear I will call the cops!"

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**Ooh. That's not good! Poor Tar-tar has been kicked out! Who will help Pudding escape Yuebin now? What will Pudding and Tart have to do to stay together? Why am I asking these questions of myself?**

**I'll start typing the next chapter in a few minutes, so don't be surprised if this gets updated twice today, be happy!**


	9. Stalkers Engagements and Friends Galore!

Disclaimer: Entirely unrelated to this fic, but if I owned Tokyo Mew Mew, Pai would be Lettuce's alien stalker and Kish and Ichigo would be in love, and Tart would kill Yuebin who would have already been hit by a cement truck! HAHAHA!!!

**Last chapter, nasty Yuebin kicked poor innocent Taruto out of the house! Well, come on, it's humor/DRAMA, and the drama has been slightly lacking. Besides, this gives me an opportunity to bring in two of my favorite characters!**

**This chapter isn't as much Pudding and Tart, because I wanted to bring some other characters in. Some events with no reference in the anime and manga are mentioned, and Kish, Tart, and Pai bring up some inside jokes without explaining them. Some things relative to the plot get accomplished, but this isn't the most accomplishing-type of chapters**

**I introduced an entirely random and pointless character that I named Aline—no it's my personality Aline, although she's a person hopelessly in love with Kish too… but she's not me. Just wanted to clear that up! And I gave Pai an entirely random girlfriend as well. Any objection to these characters and they will never be brought up again! I don't think they will anyway, but…**

**BTW, 'chibiko' means runt.**

**Agh! Too long an author's note! On with the actual fic.**

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Under Yuebin's supervision, it took Tart less than five minutes to pack all his clothes, toiletries, and other possessions into a large duffel bag. The boy kept his emotions hidden, refusing to cry in front of the hated man. Pudding had no inhibitions towards this. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she screamed at the man. "How many times do I have to tell you I'm not marrying you?" she screamed at the man. "How dare you kick Tart out? HOW DARE YOU!"

"Pudding—it's okay," Tart whispered in her ear. "I'll take the time to come up with a plan. Besides—he only said I have to leave the house. Meet me at the café tomorrow."

"Tar-tar—where will you go?" Pudding sniffled.

"I'll call Kish and Pai, see if I can hang out at one of their places for now. I'll have a plan by then, so make sure you come to the café tomorrow, okay?" Tart asked.

"Out, cretin," Yuebin snapped, pushing Tart out the door and slamming it shut.

Tart took a look at the house behind him and narrowed his eyes in hate. This was _his _home, with _his _life, with _his _love! Yuebin hadn't recognized that yet, but he would. Oh he would! That evil pedophile was going down!

Tart took out his cell phone and pressed an extra button, one that he had never used before, under pain of death unless it was an emergency. He'd always wanted to push it anyway…

"Agh!" The air rippled, and Pai fell out if the spiral, landing on the pavement outside the house. "This had better be good, chibiko," the man growled from the floor.

"Oh—oops. Did I interrupt anything?" Tart snickered, noting Pai's unbound hair, inside out shirt, and the lip print on his cheek.

"Yes, now I got my butt all the way to Earth when I _should _be with my girlfriend—why?" the oldest alien asked grumpily.

"I need to get Kish here first," Tart answered, pressing another button that he wasn't to press, under pain of death no matter the circumstances. A few seconds later Kish rippled into view.

"All right brat! Just when I was going to reveal my presence to Ichigo—"

"I saved your life? I should get a medal! By the way Kish, I have to ask, how's Aline doing?"

"_Sh!" _Kish hissed, glancing over his shoulder. "I'm hiding," he continued. "I don't know when she'll turn up and glomp me, or attack my face, or—or—stalkers are scary! Don't say her name, it might—"

"KISH-KUN!!!!!" Tart snickered as a teenage girl jumped out of the shadows and hugged Kish, knocking him over. Pai suppressed a snort as Kish flailed to get away from her.

"I'm not yours! Get off me!" Kish yelled, pushing her away and brushing himself off. He glared at Tart. "This is _your_ fault midget, not mine! You know she always pops up when you say her name!"

"How can I stay away from my precious Kish-kun?" the short, hyper girl asked, hugging Kish around the neck. "He's all mine too! ALL MINE!"

"Go—away—Aline," Kish growled, pushing her off him again. "If this was a prank to torment me, Tart—"

"Don't be so vain Kish. I wouldn't do this all for you," chortled Tart. "Although it's always funny to see _you_ complain about a stalker…

Aline removed a knife from her boot and placed it at Kish's throat. "Kish-kun, I learned how to track just to be with you! You're so ungrateful! Now come with me."

"Um… I guess Kish can't help me," Tart muttered as the triumphant psychopath walked his emerald haired friend away.

"He'll be back. He always gets away," Pai reminded Tart, chuckling. "I wonder if she took stalking lessons from him or something. Now why did you interrupt my date?"

"Um… so you keep your virginity?" Tart suggested.

"I'm going to tie your pigtails to the lamp post if you don't answer me with the truth," Pai threatened.

"Fine," Tart grumbled, his amusement at Kish's stalker fading back to resentment towards Yuebin. "Yuebin came back, and he kicked me out."

Pai frowned. "Who's Yuebin?"

The air rippled, and Kish re-appeared, panting hard, his shirt ripped and hair untied. "I only just got away! I swear, that girl's a maniac!"

"Don't you feel sorry for Ichigo now?" Pai asked.

"Why would I feel sorry for koneko? Deep down she knows she loves me! She knows it!" Kish proclaimed.

"Guys, will you please shut up? I have a serious problem here!" Tart yelled, causing Kish and Pai to stare at him, then laugh. The little kid was just so… _cute _when he yelled.

"Well, what it is?"

"Pudding's stuck in an arranged engagement with this thirty year old, and he kicked me out of the house! I need to get him away from Pudding, and I need somewhere to stay."

"Not my house," Pai said. "Sorry, but I'm not having a kid in the same house as me and Mango."

"Live with me, and protect me from You-Know-Who," Kish told Tart. "That's an order! She snuck into my room last night!"

Tart cracked up. "I remember when you did that to Ichigo!" he laughed. "You were lying on her bed, and she came in, and I didn't even recognize your face when you got back!"

"But—_I _wasn't creepy about it!" protested Kish. "Oh whatever, you—"

"KISH-KUN!!!"

"Tart? Protect me. Now."

Tart sighed and pushed Kish out of the way of the red haired girl as she came flying past. "No! How dare you stand in the way of me and my Kish? You will pay! He is mine! No one else may touch him!"

"Help. Me."

Pai sighed. "Aline, we have been through this before. Get a boyfriend—not Kish. And leave him alone."

Aline glared at the menacing alien, then smiled, conceding. "All right, you win. For now!" The girl tore off.

"Ugh. Thanks Tart. Every time that disgusting girl grabs me I just feel so… violated," Kish groaned, missing the looks exchanged by Pai and Tart.

"Well, so I'm staying with Kish. Any ideas on how to keep Yuebin away from Pudding?" Tart queried pleadingly.

"Kill him," suggested Pai.

"Oh _that'll _work well, me against the martial arts beast!"

"You and Pudding could elope…" offered Kish.

"That would work… but we're too young."

"Run away Simba… and never return…."

"Pai? Shut up. I am _trying _to forget that incident," Tart growled as his friend cracked up at his own words.

"Well, you could always propose to her yourself, and if she accepts, yours will be the stronger engagement…" Kish suggested.

Tart's eyes lit up. "Kish! You're a genius!" He began to jump up and down with glee. "Why didn't I think of it before? Perfect! I'll even buy a ring to make it truly official!" He was about to hug his friend, then grinned evilly. "I'd hug you, but that might wipe away all traces of Aline—"

"SQUEE!!!!! KISH!!!!!"

"No! Not you!" screamed Kish as he was knocked over by his stalker, who hugged him forcefully and planted a kiss on his lips. Tart snickered as he watched Kish struggle.

"I told you I'd be back!" cried Aline. "Tart, I'll pay you five hundred yen if you'll sell Kish to me as a sex slave! Pai wouldn't sell him," she added sadly.

"_HELP ME!!!" _ Kish yelled. "_STALKER ALERT! HELP!"_

"Which stalker? You or her?" Pai asked.

"Sorry Aline, Kish isn't up for sale. If he was, I'd be homeless. Now will you please go away?" Tart asked, sniggering.

Kish glared at the girl as she left. "Ichigo is my one true love," he muttered. "I will never love her!"

"You know, if you think about it, this Yuebin character could be compared to Aline," Pai mused. He left out the rest of the statement, that Kish could be compared to Aline too.

Kish's eyes widened. "When you put it that way, we have nothing to lose! We must save the monkey brat! C'mere Tart, let's go ring shopping."

Throughout all of this, the window had been open. What a pain! Yuebin narrowed his eyes. "So, he plans to propose to her," the man whispered. "But can he propose if she's not there?"

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**The plot thickens! What is Yuebin planning? Who here thinks it's funny that Kish has a stalker? Does Pai's girlfriend have any relevance? Do I even know? Will Tart really propose to Pudding? Find out soon, whenever I update next!**

**I'm inspired for this today. I'm off writers block! Could you tell I was on writers block before? For the first time in a month or so, I know where this is going. So I might update again today! Stay tuned!**


	10. Breaking Out of Prison Part I

Disclaimer: I am perfect! I could have thought up Tokyo Mew Mew easily! I'm so brilliant like that! But Mia Ikumi, Reiko Yoshida, and all those involved got to it before me… curses!

**Omnipotent Narrator: Not that you could have drawn it properly anyway!**

**Me: …I never did give you permission to leave Come What May…**

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"Did it work?" Keiichiro asked the auburn haired alien sitting at one of the tables, staring at the door.

"The hit man idea? No. In fact, I'm kicked out of the house—not for that though. We were just messing around, and…" Tart trailed off. "Shouldn't Pudding be here by now?" he asked Keiichiro. "She normally gets here early, right Akasaka-san?"

"Yes… I have a very bad feeling about this," Keiichiro murmured.

Ichigo stormed in, looking furious. "Akasaka-san, some crazy random girl just attacked me and said she'd kill me for stealing Kish from her and then she said to kill Tart because Tart won't sell Kish to her!"

Tart groaned. As if his life needed more drama! "We've got to get rid of her," he muttered. "Akasaka-san, can you—"

"Everyone!" Ryou burst up from the computer room, looking enraged and worried. "Get down here right now. There's an e-mail from Pudding!

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"HELP ME!!!!" Pudding bellowed at the top of her lungs, pounding on her door. "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO KEEP ME FROM SEEING TAR-TAR!" She tried the door handle in vain again, and shoved hopelessly at the window.

Pudding had woken up to find her window was locked, her phone was gone, and her door was locked. A note had been left by her pillow, reading;

_Miss Pudding,_

_I regret to inform you that I cannot allow you to meet with that boy again until after we are married. I have no intention of you two coming up with some plan under my nose to thwart this engagement. Your father wills this to happen, and I will not let two eleven year olds defy him. You will receive meals in your room, and I will let you out on our wedding day._

_Your Fiancé,_

_Ron Yuebin._

Pudding pressed her face to the window. "I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED IN MY OWN HOUSE! HELP ME NA NO DA!"

To the girl's satisfaction, she heard some commotion outside. "I don't hafta eat cheerios unless 'Neechan tells me to!"

"You're not the boss of me! I'm not wearing my jacket to school!"

"No! Only Oneechan walks me to school! You don't!"

"Let 'Neesan out or I'll bite you!"

"I WANT ONEESAN!!!!!"

Pudding smiled. "Have fun getting them all off to school," she whispered, grinning. Her siblings only took orders from her and Tart—and they only listened to Tart on her orders.

The girl looked around for a way out of her room. Nothing… nothing… her computer! She dashed over to the computer.

"'Gimme da oranges 109 at aol dot com'," she said aloud as she typed it in. "Password, 'Tarutarus cute n cuddly09.'"

The computer screen came up with Pudding's aol account. "'To The Mad Sci Dude at Ryoumadethisup dot net.'"

_Shirogane-san, Akasaka-san, Ichigo, Mint, Lettuce, Zakuro 'neesan, Tar-tar, help me! Yuebin's locked me in my room and he won't let me out until the wedding day! I need help! Get me out get me out I don't want to marry him he's old and I LOVE YOU TAR-TAR!!!!!!!_

Send. "I give it an hour at most…"

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"Pai?"

"Outside the window."

"Kish?"

"Target in sight. He's in the living room, reading the paper."

"Zakuro?"

"I've got Kish's back."

"Mint?"

"Ready with the rope.

"Akasaka?"

"Waiting with the lock-picks."

"Shirogane?"

"Keeping an eye on the kids."

"Lettuce?"

"At the window with Pai. Pry bar ready."

"Ichigo?"

"That string is still there! Oh. Yeah. I'm in, I'm at Pudding's door, with the other lock picks."

"And I am stuck at the café so I don't get sued," Tart concluded into the walkie-talkie. "You guys had better get her out!"

"Sheesh, with your promise to keep my stalker away if this works, I'm all for it!" Kish's reply was fuzzy static over the line."

Tart heard a disbelieving "Kish has a stalker now?" and "Payback!" as well as his friend's "Shut up you idiots or we'll get caught!" He shook his head. They weren't taking this seriously!

"You all know I have no more black clothes now?" Zakuro asked. "I hope you know what I'm sacrificing for this plan!"

"Sacrificing?" Ryou's voice was indignant. "I'm the one making a sacrifice! You wouldn't give me a shirt! I'm wandering around in black leather pants and a black lace bra! _You're _the—"

"Shut up!" Kish sounded serious for once. "He's coming."

Tart bit his lip with worry. He switched off the walkie-talkie. This was out of his hands. The only thing he could do was wait and pray his friends didn't screw everything up. The future of Pudding's life was on the line. That meant the future of _his _life was on the line.

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**All right, now you kiddies can wait all week to find out what happens, because if by some miracle I get on before next weekend I have to update my other fics! So I'll let you all wait… Sorry! ******


	11. Breaking Out of Prison Part IIFluff!

Disclaimer: If I owned Tokyo Mew Mew Masaya would ditch Ichigo for Mint, Pudding would glomp Tart every scene/panel, Kish would tenderly comfort Ichigo from Masaya's breakup and she would love him, Ryou and Pai would have an epic battle over Lettuce (I don't know who would win) while Zakuro and Keiichiro dated and Yuebin was DEAD!!!!! There you go! Aren't you excited about what could be?

**But… Mia Ikumi and co. own TMM. Not me. Weep!**

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"Shut up!" Kish sounded serious for once. "He's coming."

Zakuro and Kish tensed up, waiting to grab the man's arms as he headed for the exit. "Bit more… bit more… dun-dun! Dun-dun! Dun-dun-dun—"

Zakuro whacked Kish on the back of the head. "Shut up you baka, we're going to get caught!"

"You take the spy thing too seriously," Kish muttered, rubbing his head. They both glared impatiently at their target, waiting… waiting…

Yuebin left the house, locking and closing the door behind him. "Now!" yelled Kish, leaping out from behind the bushes and grabbing the man's arms. "Zakuro, help me!"

Zakuro seized the man's feet, and together the two dragged him over to Mint, who proceeded to tie him up. "Come on, come of, where's the sleeping pill?" Mint muttered frantically, searching her pockets. She found the capsule and popped it into his mouth. "Nighty-night, Yuebin-san!"

As those three handled Yuebin, Pai and Lettuce leaped at the window, crow-bar and wrench at the ready. As soon as Ichigo heard the noise outside the window, she began to pick the lock to Pudding's room, knowing that Keiichiro was doing the exact same thing for the front door—because Pudding's monkey DNA wasn't the same as Ichigo's cat DNA, and she wouldn't fit through the cat flap. Both doors swung open in perfectly choreographed unison, but because Lettuce had dropped the pry bar on Pai's foot, the window missed the perfect timing. That didn't matter though, because Pudding was out the door like a bullet the second it opened.

"Ichigo oneesan!" Pudding threw her arms around the cat girl and squeezed her until the older mew fainted from lack of oxygen. "Ichigo 'neechan?" Pudding asked worriedly, shaking her friend.

"Uhn… Oh hi Pudding," Ichigo mumbled, opening her eyes blearily.

"Operation successful, as the statistics determined," Pai concluded in a bored voice. "The rest of you get out. Pudding, come with me."

"Pai-san! I haven't seen you in forever and ever!" Pudding cried, dancing in hyper circles before giving the man a hug. Being cooped up in her room had given the already hyper part-monkey even more energy, so she jumped to try to hug the alien around the neck, and miraculously… missed. Pai caught her by the shoulders before she hit the floor.

"Calm down," Pai ordered. "I'm going to teleport you over to the café, okay? Unless Kish gets up here and wants to do this." Pai waited expectantly, then, after a few minutes, sighed, resigned. "No, that would be too convenient, wouldn't it? Come on." He teleported Pudding to the café.

A moment later, Kish bounded up the stairs. "Pai! I wanna… oh." The teenager frowned. "Goddamnit! He left without asking me!" Kish sighed. "Well, I don't want to miss the pr—Ichigo!" The alien saw Ichigo, still unfocused on the floor. "Hm…"

"PERVERT!" Ichigo yelled, reflexively slapping Kish as he leaned over her.

"Ow! Jeez, what did you think I was going to do?" Kish whined indignantly, clutching his stinging cheek.

"You were leaning over me! It was creepy!" The cat mew shouted, an angry red flush spreading across her face. "_I'm _going to the café with everyone else! _You _follow Pai!"

Kish sighed as she left. "What did I do?" he wondered. "Ah, crap! I'm gonna miss it!" The teenager belatedly teleported to Café Mew Mew, where Tart awaited Pudding's arrival.

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"TARTARNANODA!!!!!!!!!" screamed Pudding at the top of her lungs, racing over to her boyfriend and glomping him, bowling him over in the process.

"Pudding—you're—strangling—me—" Tart wheezed, beginning to turn blue.

"Oops! Sorry na no da!" Pudding apologized, lessening the intensity of the hug.

"Ha!" Tart crowed triumphantly, squeezing the breath out of Pudding this time.

"Ack—can't—breathe—" Pudding choked out. She grinned when Tart let go of her. "That was so mean Tar-tar!"

"Psht, serves you right, all the times you do that to me," Tart snickered.

"Ahem. Get with the program," Pai muttered.

The air rippled, and Kish appeared, a bright red handprint on his pale cheek. "Oh good, I didn't miss it!" he cried, relieved.

"Miss what?" Pudding asked, confused.

Tart went red. He couldn't believe—he'd never dreamed—heck, was it even _legal _to propose at age eleven? Well… He took the box… what next? Oh yeah! The child knelt down. "Um… yeah. Uh… we thought of a way to make your and Yuebin's engagement invalid… Uh… Puddingwillyoumarryme?" Tart asked very fast, ducking his head as his face turned the approximate color of his shirt.

Pudding stared at him for a moment. Then… "OF COUSE TAR-TAR NA NO DA!!!!!!!!!" She pounced on the boy and began squeezing him again. "YAY!!! Wait… how does this save me from Yuebin though?" the monkey girl asked curiously.

"Well, if you're engaged to two people and can only marry one, then you have to choose the one you like better. Besides…" Tart smiled. "Now you've got _my _ring on _your _hand," he pointed out, sliding a ring onto Pudding's finger, remembering with slight amusement the look on the saleswoman's face when such a small child had bought engagement rings. "So _we're _official. You and Yuebin aren't."

Pudding looked at Tart with tears in her eyes. "Taru-taru…" she whispered, before giving him a surprisingly civilized hug. The hug morphed into a kiss, which deepened—

"Hold it!" yelled Kish, destroying the moment. "Okay, so are you still staying at my place Tart?"

"We should both stay there to keep away from Yuebin," Tart reminded his friend. "We discussed this last night, remember?"

"Right then, no public displays of affection. Get a room, okay?" Kish ordered.

"Excuse me?" Tart asked, glaring at his friend. "It was a _kiss _baka! What about those sketches you leave lying around? _Those _need to get a room!"

"You lit—I told you not to bring up my sketches!" Kish yelled, flushing.

"What sketches?" Pudding asked.

And thus the young engaged couple bonded over an argument with Kish, which turned into a fistfight. "Humph. Just you wait. I will get you," Kish muttered, glaring up at Tart as best he could with the young alien's foot on his throat. He grinned evilly. "Hey everyone, who wants to know a funny story about Tart at a costu—gack…"

Tart pressed his foot down on Kish's throat. "Kudasai! I told you, I'm trying to forget it!"

"Gack…" Kish croaked. The alien teleported, and Tart's foot slammed down onto the ground with the lack of resistance.

"Ow!" The barefoot boy complained as his foot connected hard with the marble. He glared at the spot where the teen had been, then his expression changed as he looked over at Pudding. "Let's go home, okay?"

"Okay," Pudding agreed, slipping her hand into Tart's and teleporting away.

The car with the mews, Keiichiro, and Ryou pulled up, and the six entered the café. "What'd we miss?" Keiichiro asked Pai.

"Oh my God," Pai muttered.

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**Wow… I said a week and it was more than a month… gomen nasai! I'm so sorry… I hope the wait was worth it! So now Tart and Pudding are engaged. Did anyone spot the foreshadowing in chapter 5? I'll be so happy if you did! I don't think Yuebin will take this well though, do you? Well… you'll just have to wait and see! Oh, and who else liked the way Tart proposed? I think it would be a bit awkward to propose to your girlfriend/boyfriend at such a young age, so randomly… yeah. Well anyway, thanks for reading, reviewers may have a cookie! They are yummy cookies too…**


	12. The Story of Simba

Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew. Man I wish I did! I'd kill Masaya… I'd make Pai in charge of that. We all know he's a sadist XD

I'm sneaking on to write this… dunkillmeforbreakingtherulesplez. I wanted to update.

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"Love is a many, splendor'd thing love! Lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love!" Tart sang off key.

"Just don't drop me," Pudding warned, looking at the ground far below her nervously.

"_All you need is love_!"

"A girl has got to—DON'T YOU DARE LET GO TAR-TAR!"

"You're ruining the mood! _All you need is love!_"

"Or she'll end up on the street—WITH ALL THE CARS!" Pudding shrieked, seizing Tart's shoulders and wondering what had possessed her to agree to go flying around the city with him… over all the traffic.

"_All you need is lo-o-o-ove…_"

"And life!"

"Spoil-sport! Why can't you sing along?"

"I'M FOURTY FEET IN THE AIR NA NO DA! WHAT DO YOU THINK?" Pudding yelled in Tart's ear.

"Meh, we're almost home. Why'd you agree to come then?" Tart asked.

"Because I've flown before, just never ab—AAAIIIEEE!" Pudding didn't finish her sentence before Tart dove sharply down and 'landed' by hovering an inch in the air.

"That was _scary!_" Pudding laughed, feeling giddy now that she was back on the ground. "I thought you were going to drop me!"

"You just don't trust me," grumbled Tart, unlocking the door to their/Kish's house.

"Tart! Pudding!" There was the sound of a stampeding herd of elephants, and Kish skidded around the corner in socked feet. Tart wondered vaguely if it was his friend who had made all the noise, or if he was running from the hidden elephants.

"Everyone! I got it! It's mine! MINE! I'm FREE!"

"Huh?" Tart and Pudding asked in unison.

"A restraining order!" Kish brandished a piece of paper at the two children. "I will no longer be plagued by that evil stalker of mine! I know just how to celebrate! I _will _tell the story!"

"That's not celebration, it's torture! No!" Tart yelled, slamming the door in Kish's face and bolting. "Hurry Pudding!"

"Aha! She is my hostage!" Kish yelled, teleporting out and seizing Puddings arm, then spinning in circles with the bemused girl.

Tart grimaced. A Kish who was hyper with relief was dangerous. "Kish…"

"No, no! I've wanted to tell people for ages! And now I have to celebrate! Sit Pudding!" Kish pushed Pudding to sit on the concrete. "You too Tart! You've gotta hear—oh, wait. It's about you. Never mind!"

"Kish—" but it was too late. Kish had begun the tale.

"It was several months ago…"

_Tart glared out at the people around him. Stupid costume party! But Ichigo had invited them, for unknown reasons, to her little cousin's huge birthday party. Kish had been ecstatic to go—his first invite from Ichigo! Pai had gone for kicks and Tart—_

_Tart had been planning to stay home, but—"It's a costume party! We can go as the Lion King!" Kish had cried. "Pai, you'll be Scar, you're evil, I'll be the strong and ladies-man Simba, and you can be Zazuu, Tart!"_

_"I'm not going to some stupid human kid's birthday party as a __**bird!**__" Tart had shouted._

_"Oh, you'll go. If I'm going, you're going," Pai ordered. "But why don't you go as baby Simba?"_

_With much cajoling and bribes—"Put it this way chibiko, you'll go and I won't stuff your head in an electric socket—"Tart bought a Simba costume and went to the party._

_It was shockingly crowded for some little kid's party—but then, the apartment wasn't huge or anything. Still, Tart hadn't seen anyone he knew. No one except Kish, Pai, and—_

_"YAGH! I WILL KILL YOU!" Tart had groaned as Kish made a mad leap for Masaya and threw the dark boy to the ground._

_"Oy! Baka-Kish!" Tart had yelled, but his friend hadn't seemed to hear. With a sigh, the youngest alien made his way through the growing crowed._

_The alien tried in vain to pull his friend off of Ichigo's poor innocent boyfriend—only to be knocked away by the oh-so-strong Kish—who of course, hadn't meant to hit him __**that **__hard. Tart slammed backwards and fell, knocking four people over and nearly crushing a small toy poodle—who brought a dog to a birthday party anyway?_

_There was a shocked silence and everyone stared—including Kish. "Um… we were actually making a peace treaty…" Kish told Tart. To Tart's surprise, Masaya nodded._

_"And I got that on camera!" crowed a person dressed as a Blue Lorikeet. Tart had a __**vague **__idea of who it was. "I love youtube… and the people will love this!"_

_"Oh my goodness! Fluffles!" yelped 'Yogi Bear,' seeing that the poodle's toenail was broken. "You! How dare you? You hurt my precious Fluffle's foot!" _

_Fluffles chose this moment to make a mad dash for the peanuts in a glass bowl on the table. Tart had just risen, when the dog barreled out of nowhere, and knocked Tart over with all of it's fifteen pounds. Tart stumbled and fell hard on his side, to fresh peals of laughter._

_"Run away Simba," Kish had chortled, clutching his sidesin laughter. "Run away, and never return!"_

"So that's what happened?" Pudding asked, listening politely to Kish's story.

"Yup! Hm, I told about this, I lost my stalker… it's my lucky day! I'm gonna go see Ichigo now!" Kish teleported away before Tart could strangle him.

Pudding looked over at Tart, undisguised laughter in her eyes. "You got knocked over by a toy poodle!?"

At that moment, Tart wanted nothing more than to throttle Kish. What could be more wonderful than to throttle Kish right now?


	13. Strategy of the SemiVillains!

Disclaimer: I own Tokyo Mew Mew when I own Harry Potter. But if I owned Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy would be gay and in love with Harry… but Harry's love for Ginny would overcome all! However, then Mia Ikumi and JKR would have to be the same person. I claim the rights to neither of those series'. Mia Ikumi, you created TMM… I bow to you. –bows-

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A middle-aged man left the plane at the Tokyo station, clutching his worn brown bag that carried his minimal luggage. On his cell phone, the man seemed to be engaged in a serious conversation.

"So she's refused the marriage?"

Through the phone, only Mr. Fong could hear Yuebin's reply. _"Yes Master. She's run off with that creepy little boyfriend of hers."_

Mr. Fong ground his teeth. _'Pudding, where did you go wrong?'_ he wondered. Really, at the age of eleven, she should be doing nothing more than pitching a screaming fit, maybe throwing some objects, but eventually calming down and obeying her father in the end! Where had she learned such stubbornness? "Well, how hard can it be to find her? I trained her in martial arts, but not in covering her tracks—and you are a skilled tracker, Ron. It shouldn't be hard for you to find her."

_"Understood." _Yuebin's voice was formal as he spoke to his master, but there was still a hint of vexation carried in his words. _"Master, there is the matter of her boyfriend though. As long as he's around, I'm worried that she won't submit to the marriage. I also fear that he will come up with another way to 'rescue' her."_

Mr. Fong sighed. "He's _eleven_, Ron. Or twelve. How should I know? But really, there's no way that the boy can overcome our will. He'll give up the next time he sees another pretty girl his age and forget all about her—children that age are fickle. They're just discovering sexual desires, and mistake that for love with almost anyone of the opposite sex."

On the other end of the phone, Yuebin frowned. _"I don't mean to contradict you master—normally I would agree—but this boy has shown himself to be…" _he paused for a moment as he tried to think of the right words. _"Dedicated? Stubborn? He rallied her friends and came up with a complex plot to get her out in the first place. Besides, there's something about him that's off. I don't think he's quite…" _the man paused again. Would his master dismiss his suspicion? _"I don't think he's quite human," _the student continued, taking the risk that his master would laugh him off.

"Don't think he's quite human… what makes you say that?" asked Mr. Fong. To tell the truth, his contact with his family had been very limited for the past three years or so. He hadn't even known his eldest daughter had a boyfriend until Yuebin had told him about the problems he'd had with the engagement. He had no information whatsoever on Tart, but if his student could give him all he knew about the boy, then he'd put it to work against the kid.

_"Several things," _Yuebin admitted. _"This kid is so pale—no matter how much time he spends in the sun, he never tans, he never burns. It's like he's maxed out his pigment, but he's the color of paper! He has fangs rather than normal teeth. His sense of clothing is strange—not in a normal sense of a kid just wanting to dress differently. He acts like the clothes __**we **__wear are weird. And then…"_ again, Yuebin paused. He really didn't know how to explain it. _"Mostly, it's the ears," _he told his master. _"He's got these huge elf-like ears, that literally stick out to his shoulders and fuse into points. Also, I could have sworn I saw him floating once!"_

"I'm sure the floating was a trick of the light," Mr. Fong decreed. "However, the rest of him… he certainly sounds odd."

_"Indeed." _There was eagerness in Yuebin's voice as he asked his next question. _"Master, wouldn't it be better to merely take him out of the equation?"_

Mr. Fong frowned. "You mean… kill him?" he asked his student slowly.

_"If that's what it takes," _the student replied earnestly.

"No." Mr. Fong's answer was firm. "Killing should always remain a last resort, a way to save your life and the lives of others. Nobody shall lose their life over this marriage. However…" The man frowned. "If this boy is as devoted and crafty as you say, it might pay to lock him up. Just until the wedding is over. He won't be able to do anything once you and Pudding are married, and we can forget all about him!"

_"So… you really do intend for me to marry Pudding at this age?" _Yuebin queried.

His master sighed. "I would prefer to have you wait several years. However, under the circumstances, it might be best to get the official thing over with, and you can have all the traditions and ceremonies in a few years."

_"But… it cannot be legal for an eleven year old to get married," _Yuebin protested.

"Ah, you're right, not here. That's why you will be traveling to Azerbaijan to get married. I don't believe they have an age limit there," Pudding's father informed him.

_"So we lock the little cretin up—"_

"Excuse me?"

_"Pudding's boyfriend."_

"Ah, all right. For a moment I was afraid you were talking about my daughter. Now, what were you saying?"

Yuebin held back a sigh of impatience. _"We lock Pudding's boyfriend up—"_

"With sufficient food and water, of course."

_"Yes, of course,"_ Yuebin agreed, before finishing what he's been saying. _"So we lock the boy up, and travel to this country, get legally married, and come back to Japan. Will the legality still hold?"_

"It should," Mr. Fong replied calmly, hailing a taxi as one sped by outside the airport.

_"Then I think it is a foolproof plan, master."  
_

"I'm glad you think so. Just remember not to underestimate the two of them, if they thwarted you before." Mr. Fong settled into the taxi and hung up his phone. He gave the taxi driver his address and sat back, waiting to get home and talk everything over properly. This was certainly a delicate situation, but if the Fong family could marry into the Yuebin family, then the possibilities for the two intertwined families of martial arts masters would be endless in their field of specialty.

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So NOW we get the reason why Pudding is engaged to Yuebin. Does anyone even know where Azerbaijan is? I don't! I picked it because I couldn't find a legal marriage age for that country, and Pudding and Tart are making things difficult. Mr. Fong and Yuebin will want to get this over with before Pudding and Tart do something drastic, now won't they?


	14. Don't Talk to Strangers

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMM. Sob!**

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"The doorbell… that sounds ominous," Tart muttered, glancing suspiciously over his shoulder. "Kish! Answer your door!"

"You live here too! You get it!" Kish called back, his voice distant and muffled from his room.

"Yeah, but I'm surprised there aren't 'Wanted' posters for me up all over Tokyo! Please?" Tart called. In truth, he was really enjoying playing Final Fantasy, against Pudding, and really didn't want to get up.

The door slammed, and Kish stomped down the stairs. Tart assumed that his friend chose to stomp, rather than teleport, just to show how put-upon he was. The teenager disappeared from sight for a few minutes, and then stuck his head back in. "It's for you!"

"Why do I get the feeling that this means no good?" Tart grumbled, stomping to the door. He looked out, and saw an unfamiliar man. "Yes?"

"Hello. You are…" the man fished a sheet of paper out of his pocket. "Taruto Kuromizu?" He looked up—or rather, down—at the boy standing at the door.

"Yes…" Tart slowly agreed, distrust showing in his eyes. There was something… he felt nervous suddenly.

"Yes, yes, very good." With lightning speed, the man's hand covered his mouth, and his other arm wrapped around Tart's waist. The man began to tow the boy off to a waiting car.

Tart began to panic. He couldn't call his Ho Rai Den rope ever since they'd stopped battling the mews, and with his mouth covered, he couldn't call for help. The boy tried to elbow the man in the stomach, but twisted at the strange angle he was, he couldn't reach. The child grimaced, and bit the man's hand—but apart from a contortion of the face, it didn't seem to bother the man that the alien's fangs had broken his skin.

The man pushed Tart into the car—to the boy's rage, there waited Yuebin. "You!" he hissed, trying to get out. Yuebin seized his arm and held him down while the other man hurried into the driver's seat, slammed the door, and began to drive off quickly.

"What's this about?" Tart asked furiously, trying to wrench out of Yuebin's grasp. If he could just get loose, then he could teleport, but he wasn't going to risk trying to bring the unwilling Yuebin with him. It was one thing to teleport an unconscious Pudding out from under a collapsing dome, and another thing to teleport away from harm with a martial arts master giving all hell to keep him still.

"Simply about getting you out of the way so that Ron and my daughter can be married without problems," the driver said. "I must say, I'm sorry it came to this. Kidnapping is so… distasteful," he informed the boy. "Really, if you had just given up, it wouldn't have come to this."

Tart gave up struggling, and instead gave an evil grin. "You might be able to get me in the first place, but I just _dare _you to try and keep me wherever you're taking me!"

"There won't be an opportunity for escape," Yuebin replied with satisfaction. "Even if you can find a way out, it will be useless. We'll be long gone by then, and Pudding will be with us."

Tart glared at him. "To think you worried about what I would do to Pudding!" he snorted. "Weren't you all on my case about what happened when we were at war with Earth?"

"So you're not human, then," Mr. Fong observed mildly.

Tart snorted. "Really, do you think?" he asked scornfully.

"I see." Mr. Fong's eyes flicked to the backseat. "I applaud your correctness, Ron. We'll have to apply the extra security measures, then."

Tart almost laughed. They could apply all the extra security measures they wanted, but there was no way they'd be able to tie him down and keep him from rescuing Pudding.

After nearly half-an-hour, Tart's arm had gone numb from the tight grip Yuebin was keeping on it. They weren't taking any chances with him, and Tart cursed their intelligence. On the plus side, even if Kish was too stupid to get it, there was no way that Pudding would be dumb enough to not realize that he wasn't back from answering the door.

"Come on, come on," Mr. Fong muttered, tapping his foot as he waited for the car ahead of him to move. "Ah, there we go!" The man parked the car in front of a small brick building. "Quickly, and don't let this look suspicious!" the master ordered.

Yuebin quickly stepped out of the car, keeping a tight hold on Tart's arm. "Haru, I am sick of your whining!" he snapped, as though he was a father speaking to a complaining child. "You know perfectly well why we're coming here!"

"Wha—my name is _Taruto_, and if you're talking about kidnap—"

Yuebin grinned apologetically to a woman who had stopped to stare. "He's obstinate; hates running errands with us. Come _on _Haru!"

"Idiot liar," Tart muttered as he was forced into the brick building.

"It's not idiotic if it works," Yuebin countered.

"Enough," Mr. Fong admonished his student. "Really, being kidnapped is a traumatic experience! Remember that time traveling in Siberia?"

"Of course! How could I forget, master? That poor girl," Yuebin replied, apparently remembering something that had happened on his travels with his master.

"Then cut the poor child some slack. This is an advantageous union, but not to him. He's bound to be disappointed," the master determined.

Disappointed? More like boiling mad. Tart was simmering as the two men walked through what appeared to be an abandoned music studio. They opened the door to a room with stands, chairs, and a conductor's platform. There was a small couch that seemed so out of place, it must have been moved from another part of the studio, and a large stock of canned food, water bottles, and an orange juice bottle.

"The guard will replenish the supplies if needs be," Mr. Fong told him apologetically. "I am sorry you have to go through this, but this marriage is necessary for Pudding, even if she doesn't realize it yet." 

"Screw necessity," Tart muttered as another man, dressed in loose clothing that befitted a martial arts man, entered the room.

"Keep a hold on him—literally," Yuebin ordered, shoving Tart towards the other man. "I swear, I've seen him fly—he admits he's not human too."

"Uh… all right," the unknown person said uncertainly. "Uh… all the time?"

"Take shifts with Taro; just never let him be by himself!" Yuebin said.

"Right…" the guard agreed hesitantly. "Uh… what's he here for, again?"

"He's been caught involved with terrorists who have been threatening Japan. The government has asked us to keep an eye on him, but pressing circumstances have forced us to leave him with you," Mr. Fong explained.

"Excuse me?" Tart asked, aghast that they would come up with such an excuse. "Involved with terrorists? Give me a break! You just don't—"

The door shut. Mr. Fong and Yuebin had left the room. "Great," Tart muttered, slumping back. "Just fantastic!"

"Hi! I'm Ichiro. I hope we can be friends!" the guard said, smiling dumbly at Tart.

"Crap," Tart muttered, edging as far away from the man as he could. Now how was he going to get Pudding out of this?


	15. Freedom Flashbacks and Airports Galore

Wow

Wow! It's April, and I haven't updated since November! I'm so sorry! Please, I hope I haven't lost you all as readers! I'm really sorry! That's what, four months… more by now. I'm so sorry!

**Okay, if I owned Tokyo Mew Mew and failed to draw it the way I seem to be failing at updating, then we'd still be on the second volume and I doubt that the anime would exist. I don't own it!**

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Tart sighed in exasperation. Two hours had passed, and he still hadn't been able to get Ichiro to let go of his arm. The man seemed more than happy to babble about random topics whenever Tart tried to ask him to let go because his arm was slowly turning purple and swelling from oxygen loss.

"…And so I said 'Dude! A mission? No way!' and they just…"

"Will. You. Let. Go!" Tart seethed, trying to move his arm. It didn't move, but that didn't surprise him; he'd guessed that he'd have lost contact with the nerves by that point.

Ichiro looked surprised. "Uh… but they said not to let go of you."

Tart groaned. "Look, first of all, I can't feel my arm. Second of all, what am I going to do, teleport to another dimension? Third of all, I have to go to the bathroom. I don't think you want to see that."

The not-very-intelligent guard blinked. "I… I'll run it by Taro…"

"Just let go! What can I do to escape being _kidnapped_ anyways?" the alien asked, placing emphasis and scorn on the word 'kidnapped'. "I'm a ten year old kid! You're all martial arts experts or something!"

The guard pondered this for what seemed like his maximum thinking capacity of thirty-five seconds. "Well… all right. Just to the bathroom and back."

"_Thank _you," Tart muttered sarcastically, rubbing the hand shaped bruise circling his spindly arm. The alien walked out of the room as though he were going to the bathroom, and then turned around with an evil grin. "Sucker!" he yelled, teleporting out of the music studio and back to Kish's apartment.

"Kish? Pudding?" Tart yelled, looking around the living room and then running into Kish's room. "Kish! Where's Pudding?"

The older alien looked up, surprised. "Hi, Tart… you're back. I told Pudding there was nothing to worry about…"

"Look, Kish, shut up and answer my question. Where did Pudding go?" Tart demanded, his chest heaving from the exertion, his eyes wide and slightly panicked.

"Hm?" Kish leaned back and thought for a moment. "Um… Oh yeah! I sent her to answer the door about an hour and a half ago! Hasn't she come back yet? Then again, it took you _two_ and a half hours… wait, where are you going?"

But Tart had already teleported to the airport. "Crap," he muttered, racing over to check the flight attendance records and try to find out what flight Pudding was on.

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_"I'll get it!" Pudding yelled as the doorbell rang again. She couldn't pretend that she wasn't worried about Tar-tar—maybe though, he'd simply locked himself out on accident and was just now surrendering his pride to ring the doorbell? The blonde haired girl hoped that was the case—what other good reason was there for the boy going missing for an entire hour?_

_Pudding opened the door and gasped in shock. "Dad?" she yelped, staring up in surprise. "What are you doing? Why aren't you still in China?"_

_"I had to come speak with you about something," her dad replied seriously. Pudding sighed inwardly; she knew what it was._

_Mr. Fong knelt, placing himself on eye level with his rather short daughter. "Pudding," he began sadly, "why are you disobeying me like this? Don't you understand what this match would mean, if the Fongs and the Yuebins were united in marriage? Already it's common for our families to partner as master and student, but as marriage partners? That would mean an entirely new era in the world of martial arts!"_

_"No Dad, it wouldn't," Pudding replied, exasperated. "I hate that guy. He wasn't so bad until he started being so mean to Taru—" the monkey mew gasped suddenly. "Tart…" she whispered, comprehending him. "Where is he, dad?" she demanded, glaring up at her father. __**"What did you do to Taru-taru?"**_

_"Your boyfriend is fine. Contrary to what Ron wishes, we will not be permanently disabling him," Mr. Fong said wryly._

_"He wants to hurt Tar-tar! How can you want me to marry someone who wants to hurt someone as sweet as Taru-taru?" Pudding demanded. "What did you do with him, Dad? Answer me!"_

_"Pudding, it's not your place to give me orders," her dad said sharply. "I've packed you a bag, now come with me."_

_"Huh?" Pudding asked, confused. "Why?"_

_"Because, it's illegal for someone your age to get married in Japan, so we'll be going to __Azerbaijan__. With the amount of obstinacy you've been showing, it would be best to just get it over with now," Mr. Fong said._

_"What? No!" Pudding yelped, backing away. Her dad sighed and grabbed his daughter's hand, pulling her out to the car._

_"Pudding, I'm sorry. I know you don't want to marry Ron, but this is the way things are done in our family."_

_"Yeah, ever since __**I **__was born! You didn't have to marry mom, you __**wanted**__ to!"_

_"Please stop acting so selfish and spoiled, Pudding. I know I raised you better than that," Mr. Fong said, pushing Pudding into the backseat and climbing into the front. The car had been left running, and child safety locks were a useful thing: Pudding could have jumped out of the car and landed safely—but the doors would not open. "Ron, to the airport, quickly," Mr. Fong ordered, and Yuebin began driving at just below the speed limit to reach the airport in time for their flight._

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"Damn it," Tart muttered: the flight had just left. "Where's it to?" _Azerbaijan. _He'd never even heard of it, although his knowledge of human geography was admittedly lacking. The child flipped open an airport atlas and located the country after several minutes. Azerbaijan. He would be there long before Pudding and the others, and would take them on single-handedly at the airport if he had to.

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**I hope I didn't lose readers, but I won't be surprised if I did after such a long absence. Forgive and Forget and Review? Pretty please? You guys rock if you stuck with this despite my long break in updates. I think one or two more chapters oughta do this one, though it might take more… one might cut it a little close. Let's plan for two, and any more would be a bonus, okay?**


	16. The Wisdom of Kish

**Ok… writers block is the culprit. I have had little to no inspiration. I know what I want to write, but not HOW to write it. I've also gotten really into about 4 series' since the last update, so I've been reading those…**

**I'll try to finish this up by July, ok? It's getting close to the end—I can't believe it's been more than a year! Maybe because I never update… Sorry. It was interesting when I went back and re-read this… I think my writing has improved a LOT since I started this, and I've certainly gotten more serious. What do you all think? **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Tokyo Mew Mew there would be no need for me to even put the word disclaimer in the chapter. I may be working on a Tart fan art right now, but I still don't own the series.**

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Tart's chest rose and fell slightly as he slept, curled up on a hard, plastic seat in the waiting area of an airport in Azerbaijan, waiting for Pudding's plane to come in. The boy constantly jerked from his light sleep as flight numbers were called, and then settled back into his uneasy slumber, waiting, waiting. He had been waiting in the airport for coming up on fourteen hours now, and in the back of his napping mind, he knew that the airplane would arrive at any time. He would have to be prepared for the arrival at any time.

The flight number was called, and the young alien jerked awake, rubbing the sleep from his suddenly alert eyes. They were at the airport! The boy rose from his seat, wincing and stretching his stiff muscles, twisting to get the kinks out of his spine. He walked purposefully to the sole entrance to the airport. If it came down to a fight—and it would come down to a fight, the boy was sure of that—he would rather not fight in a crowded airport, full of security guards whom would be sure to side with the adults in this situation. Tart leaned impatiently against the wall, waiting, waiting, waiting…

Finally he saw the shapes of the people he waited for become clear, swept up in the crowd of humanity exiting the airport. Tart grinned and mingled in with the crowd, keeping his eyes on the back of Pudding's blond head and her blue, Chinese-style outfit. He slid through the press of bodies, caught up with the Fongs and Yuebin, and touched the back of Pudding's hand.

Pudding turned her head and gasped. "Tar-tar!" she squealed, pulling free and throwing her arms around the boy gleefully. "Tar-tar you came! You came to save me!"

"Yes… I did… and you… are cru…ushing me…" the child gasped as his air supply was cut off. The young alien staggered backwards, falling flat onto his back. Pudding got her arms untangled in time to keep them from being crushed, but not in time to keep from falling and landing on his chest, knocking the wind out of the young pre-teen again.

"Sorry Tar-tar!" Pudding cried, leaping off the alien and pulling him to his feet.

"So he got out, despite our security measures." Mr. Fong's voice was calm, almost pleasant as he walked over towards the young couple. "I have to hand it to you young man, you're far more stubborn than I had given you credit for. Unfortunately," he sighed, "I cannot allow you to stand in our way."

"_You're _the one in the way!" Tart shouted, hugging Pudding not nearly as crushingly as she would have held him had their positions been reversed. "Pudding, I'm going to teleport us out. Are you ready?"

"Yup!" Pudding replied, throwing her arms around her love's neck.

Tart smirked evilly at Mr. Fong and the stunned Yuebin, and teleported back to Kish's house. Pudding gripped him tightly, reminding him to concentrate extra hard: It would be a pointless exercise to teleport back home and leave Pudding in Azerbaijan. Fortunately, when they fully materialized in Kish's house, Pudding was there as fully as Tart.

"KISH!" Tart bellowed at the top of his lungs, storming up to his friend's room. Sure enough, the emerald haired alien sat on his bed, sketching a picture of a rather scantily clad Ichigo. Tart rolled his eyes and hit his friend very hard on the back of his head to get his attention. "Hey, idiot!"

"Ow!" Kish yelped, turning around. "Tart, what took you so long? You went to get Pudding from answering the door _hours _ago…"

"I had to go to Azerbaijan to save Pudding, because YOU were too stupid to realize that no one—_no one—_takes two hours to answer a door!" The youngest alien seethed, his fisted left hand drawn back and ready to strike again.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry! What's Azerbaijan? Isn't that the prison in that one book—ow!"

"Tar-tar, don't hit Kish-niisan! I don't think he really wants to be as stupid as he is," the monkey girl said, her voice slightly strained as she aimed her own glare at Kish.

"Ouch," the elder alien muttered, closing his sketchbook and using it to shield his face from the young couple's intense glares. "This sounds like a story worth hearing, but on the other hand, if you're going to _kill _me… What happened?"

"What happened?" Tart leapt on his friend and knocked him off the bed, the art supplies scattering all over the floor as he proceeded to pound Kish. "YOU were an idiot who sent me to answer the door, which got me kidnapped, which meant that there was no one smart around when Pudding had to answer the door, which meant that she got kidnapped and dragged off to Azerbaijan, so I had to go save her, and now there's probably a 'Wanted for Kidnap' poster of me on every street corner, and no one will take my side because I'm a minor and an alien and I have pigtails!"

Kish frowned, trying to see the logic in Tart's statement. "I understand you… I think… but what do pigtails have to do with anything? I mean, I have pigtails too…"

"Tar-tar, your pigtails would be an asset! They make you look cute and endearing!" Pudding protested.

"Fine. Pigtails aside, I'd still be in trouble!"

Kish sighed in a long-suffering manner. "I can't believe you call _me _stupid," the green haired alien muttered. "Look, why didn't the two of you just get married when you were in the Azerbajibit country?"

Tart and Pudding's mouths both dropped open in unison. "Get…married?"

"Yes. Isn't that what an engaged couple generally does?" the oldest in the room asked the two children, shaking his head and finally getting to his feet. "It's the only fool-proof way to get them to leave you alone, isn't it?"

Pudding and Tart met each other's eyes and nodded. "Well, I guess we're going to elope, Tar-tar!" Pudding giggled, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"I guess so," Tart replied unsteadily. Married? He wasn't even twelve! "Well… I guess it's time to go back to Azerbaijan…" he said, swallowing his nerves.

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**If any of my readers are from Azerbaijan or have strong ties to that country, I apologize for the intentional misspelling of the country. Actually, even if you have never heard of it, I still apologize. I don't think Kish would know much about human geography, but I hope I didn't offend anyone!**

**Okay… One, two chapters left? We're approaching the ending… Muahaha… Today I leave for work camp. One week without internet, so nothing will be updating in that time. I hope I will come back to an e-mail account full of review alerts! –wink wink nudge nudge- Seriously, your thoughts on this chapter would be much appreciated.**


	17. A Foolproof Solution

**Wow, are you serious? I haven't updated in a year? Yikes. I'm going to seriously hope I've improved as a writer since then… though I haven't written anything like this in a while, so maybe it'd be better to mimic my old, slightly unpolished style. FYI, this is the last chapter, so sorry it was so long in coming! I also found out the Azerbaijani age limit for marriage, so I have to throw in a twist or so… Meh. Well, sorry to keep you all waiting for so ridiculously long, but here's the final chapter to Attack of the Fiance. (And then I can go back and edit some word choice issues I had upon re-reading this! XD) I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew, or I'd be publishing this on Fictionpress, not Fanfiction. **

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"So. How do you go about eloping?" Tart asked, swallowing hard and looking around the busy street. The two had teleported to a city in the middle of the country, though Tart didn't know the name.

"Well, you need to sign a marriage certificate. The thing is…" Pudding chewed her lip, apparently thinking hard. "Well, I think you have to be older to get married. Fourteen, I think in this country. So we'd have to have fake birth certificates."

"Fake—" Tart groaned. "You've got to be kidding me! How long would that take? We'd need connections and everything… I really thought Kish had a good idea on this one."

"He did," Pudding assured Tart, grasping his hand tightly. "This _is_ a good idea. We don't speak the language here, right? We can just mime that we want to get married, get the certificate, and sign it saying that we're fourteen!"

"But… if we lie on a marriage certificate, wouldn't it be invalid?" Tart asked worriedly. The blast of a car horn behind them made him jump; he pulled Pudding to the safety of the sidewalk. "Sheesh."

"No more than if I signed one with… Yuebin…" Pudding's voice teetered off. "I couldn't have married him anyways! Even if they'd made me sign the contract! So even if this doesn't work, we're okay!" She hugged Tart, then glanced up into his eyes. "I think… I still want to get married though."

Tart smiled. "Yeah. Me too," he told her, his stomach quivering. Was it even _possible _to be so in love so young? Evidently so. "But with my people, there's no age limit on marriage. I think they expect us to just use our common sense and marry who we fall in love with when we know it'll last. I can ask Pai to get us a certificate, just in case an Earth marriage doesn't work."

He only had to look into Pudding's eyes to know that he had said the right thing, made the right choice. Even if Pai killed him for disturbing him again, it was all worth it, if it made Pudding smile like that.

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"I thought I'd already suggested eloping. Or Kish had. Or someone. "But we're too young," you said." Pai scowled and thrust the certificate at Tart and Pudding. "Just… sign it. Somewhere. Anywhere. I'll be your witness."

Pudding and Tart exchanged glances. "But… wouldn't it be best to have some sort of ceremony? I thought—"

Pai's smoldering glare effectively shut Tart's mouth. "Ceremony? The whole point of eloping is to get married and get it done with before those inevitable circumstances get in your way and separate you forever! Ceremonies take planning! They take thought, they take money, they take time—"

"Okay, we get it!" Pudding interrupted the alien's speech, sighing. "I'm at least going to wear a dress though."

"Do you have the money to buy one?" Pai asked scornfully, folding his arms. "And let me guess, Tart, you want me to pull a tux out of nowhere. And conjure up a cake—"

"Ooh, we need a wedding cake! Thanks, Pai! Can you make one for us while we go clothes shopping? Thanks!" Pudding seized Tart's hand and enthusiastically dragged him out the door.

"You wanted a marriage certificate, not a high class wedding ceremony! I didn't sign on for this!" Pai shouted after the young couple. "God, crazy kids," he muttered, sighing and glancing around the rented room of the Azerbaijani hotel where Pudding and Tart had arranged lodging. He sighed and folded his arms. "I guess it couldn't hurt to buy them a cake," he decided, his rarely shown emotional side getting the better of him. "And I guess they have time. Her father and that Yuebin guy probably went back to Japan looking for her; we should have at least a few days." He teleported out of the room, aiming to end up in the nearest grocery store.

Humans were really oblivious, so caught up in their own worlds of electronics and conversation that they didn't even notice the strangely dressed man who appeared out of nowhere amidst a knot of shoppers in the store. Pai extricated himself from the crowd and made his way to the bakery part of the store. Was this the only grocery store in the province, or had everyone's refrigerators died on the same day? Pai dismissed both those theories as useless and improbable; his people were nearly gone, so almost any gathering of more than twenty people seemed like an impossibly huge crowd to him. He paid for the cheapest cake available—if Pudding and Tart expected a full-out wedding cake from _his_ wallet, they had another think coming—and teleported back to the hotel room. The room was still empty, but Pudding and Tart couldn't have gone far, right?

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An eleven-year-old girl in an inexpensive, white-polyester dress that shed glitter all over the floor. An eleven-year-old boy with an air not quite human, clad in a cheap second-hand suit, his hair springing from pigtails at the top of his head, his ears ridiculously, inhumanly long. A cheap chocolate cake with yellow icing and some sort of lurid blue trimming spread about the edges. Pudding grinned at the snapshot that Pai had taken with the disposable camera she had picked up from a dollar store on her way home from the department store. "Thanks for being our witness, Pai!" she squealed, her eyes torn between staring at Tart, who had seemed to take on almost a new radiance, and between staring at the document that proved their legal—albeit alien—_marriage._ No one—no father, no fiancé, no force in the world—could take her from Tart now. They belonged together. This certificate, this paper, it proved that they belonged with each other. Grinning, trying and failing to suppress an excited giggle, she leaned forwards and planted a kiss on Tart's cheek.

Tart grinned and pulled his wife in for a hug. "I guess we'd better get back to Japan," he said, staring lovingly at her and taking hold of her hand.

"And saddle me with the bill for this hotel room? No. Absolutely not. You pay your bill, _then_ go home," Pai ordered, his arms folded as he leaned awkwardly against the wall. "I might come home with you. I can't wait to hear Kish's idiotic remarks over this whole affair."

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"So… you know what a wedding night is, right you two?" Kish asked, looking up from his sketchbook with an evil grin.

"Shut it!" Tart growled, flushing angrily. "That's uncalled for. Really uncalled for."

"Eh, well, you're too young anyways. Now, if it were me and Ichigo…" Kish paused, evidently lost in blissful thought. "Well, more power to you two. You going to tell your dad and pedo stalker, Pudding?"

"Yep!" Pudding replied cheerfully. "Taru-taru and I were actually heading over to my house to kick him out and tell my dad to go back to China. Right?"

"Huh-what?" Tart asked incredulously. It was news to him. "So soon? I mean…"

"We have to do it sooner or later. Why not go ahead and tell them now?" Pudding smiled up at Tart. "Besides, what exactly are they supposed to do to separate us now?"

Tart's mind was coming up with a whole range of things, from murder to torture to forced divorce to telling them that an alien marriage wasn't valid to… he shook his head, attempting to turn his thoughts to the positive. He could tell that it was important to Pudding to clear the air. "All right. Hold my hand," he said, stretching his palm out towards his wife. He closed his eyes and teleported to the doorstep of Pudding's house.

"Nee-chan! ONEE-CHAN!" One of the brats—Tart was pretty sure it was Chincha—ran at Pudding, nearly bowling her over. "Nee-chan and Tart-kun are home!"

Something shattered in the house. Pudding and Tart winced simultaneously; footsteps sounded, and Mr. Fong threw open the door, a peeved Yuebin standing directly behind him. "So, you finally saw sense and came back," Mr. Fong stated, gazing at his daughter with something akin to disappointment on his face.

"We saw sense!" Pudding replied brightly. "We realized that a marriage between me and Yuebin in Azerbaijan would be illegal, since you have to be older, but that also meant Tart and I couldn't get married there. And then we realized that if we married like Tart's people, we'd be fine! So, meet Tart, my husband!"

Tart awkwardly put an arm around Pudding's shoulders. "Face it, you can't get married to Pudding. Besides, you taught her to be strong, right? Or does that only count when you want her to be independent? Looks like she beat you out on this one!" He wasn't sure who he was talking to, Mr. Fong or Yuebin. Maybe he was speaking to both of them?

Yuebin made a funny noise in his throat; Mr. Fong just stared. "It seems that Ron was right about your tenacity," he said finally, sighing. "Maybe you learned to be too independent in my absence. Or maybe just independent enough?" He glanced over his shoulder at Yuebin. "It seems as though we will have top bring about a new era in martial arts the old-fashioned way, Ron."

"What, hard work and actual skill?" Tart muttered unashamedly under his breath. He ignored Yuebin's poisonous stare and clasped Pudding's hand even more firmly. "Come on, Pudding," he addressed his wife. "Let's go let your friends know about this… change in our lives."He grinned wickedly. "I'm looking forward to seeing Ichigo pass out from confusion."

Pudding laughed out loud and lightly smacked Tart. The two turned, fingers still linked, and walked off in the direction of the café.

At least they walked for a split second or two. Mr. Fong wasn't sure if it was just his eyes playing tricks on him, but he could have sworn that he saw the boy pick his daughter off the ground and begin to fly.

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"It's still something to get used to," Pudding laughed a week later, snuggling closer to Tart—closer to her _husband,_ a term she couldn't believe she was lucky enough to use—on the couch. Neither of them was paying any attention to the movie; romantic dramas seemed to have nothing on the events of the past few weeks! "I still can't believe that any of this happened!"

"Well, would you change it?" Tart asked, his eyes never straying from her face. He too felt as though he was living in a dream, as though he would wake up any second.

"Hm… No. No, I wouldn't. Now even having creepy and annoying Yuebin around. I mean, he led to this," Pudding said, smiling at the alien.

Tart couldn't help but smile back. "Mm. Me neither," he agreed, leaning down and gently kissing her lips.

Even through the comments of "Ew, gross!" and "Pudding and Tartar-kun, sitting in a tree…" from the kids, even through the loud and oddly appropriate background music of the movie, somehow nothing could break through and even touch the contentment and joy of the young couple. After all, when all was said and done, somehow the attack of the fiancé had done nothing but make their lives better and their love stronger. Now they knew that no matter what came their way, they could handle it. Life and the future had never looked so promising.

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**And it's DONE. Thoughts on the ending? I probably could have written it better, but that's not up for me to decide. I'm hoping that at least some of you enjoyed my crappy, clichéd writing. This chapter was harder for me to write than I expected, probably because I've developed a slightly more jaded view of love than I had before, but as far as I'm concerned, we can have a miracle story every now and again, right? The love of Pudding and Tart will last forever!**

**Again, thoughts are appreciated. For those of you who stuck with me this whole time… man, I don't deserve you. Thank you so much!**

**--Phantom and Potter Obsession.**


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